Sunday, April 28, 2013

Cuddle time...

Do you ever have those moments when all you want to do is sit and be? No laundry, no meal planning, no talking, no anything. Just 100% sitting and being in the moment. Like today in church...I actually spent most of the service sitting outside the sanctuary by myself. I initially left to eat (haha! true pregnancy moment shining through) and found myself completely satisfied sitting there able to hear the sermon through the closed doors just taking a moment. 

I heard once that sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap. If you know me, you know how true that statement is! But, to be awake and not doing anything in my mind has always been seen as unacceptable. 

(Please take what I am going to say next with a grain of is not meant for everyday just happened to apply to my week.) As I went through my week each day I would think, "oh, I need to do my devotions!" But, this time instead of having a guilt wash over me for not having sat down first thing in the morning to have a quiet time I sensed relief almost as if a still small voice was saying, "It's ok. Just be with me." As I sat in my comfy chair this morning at church thinking, I realized that my relationship with God is in a lot of ways paralleled to my relationship with David, and in a different sense with Eli. There are times that I want to be out doing things with David, playing games, having conversations, laughing, teasing and so on. But, there are times when I just want to sit. Not even talking, because frankly I don't have the energy at times. I just want to be, sitting next to him and having cuddle time. When e crawls into my lap on that rare occasion and wants nothing more than for me to hold him while he plays with my hair he just needs me. He doesn't need me to read him a book, build him a tower, make him food, make sure he is hydrated, teach him life lessons, or even entertain him. He just wants to cuddle. Never thought of having cuddle time with God, but you know what, this week I have and it has been wonderful! I don't always have to be on my A game (and you all know as well as I do that in this society not being on our A game seems to be frowned upon!), just need to be still and know that he is God (Ps. 46:10). And, the most wonderful thing of all is summed up in the chorus of the song "After All." No matter how I feel God is constant and won't forsake me. 

Song by Meredith Andrews "After All"

After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will you forsake me
Not for a moment will you forsake me

You were singing in the dark
Whispering Your Promise
Even when I could not hear
I was held in Your arms
Carried for a thousand miles to show 
Not for a moment did you forsake me

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Taking a step back...

The week started out with the disappointing news of the election in Venezuela. Monday brought terror in Boston. The week didn't get any better with the explosion in Texas. Seriously! Enough already! Every news channel, radio station, web page brought a reminder of the horror that we have been feeling this week. 

I took this image on Friday, marked as the day that officials arrested the second bomber. We normally have PBS on during the day, but since e had fallen asleep we quickly turned on CNN to see what the latest news was. As I look at this image it reminds me to take a step back. I don't have to forget about the pain that is being felt in the world, instead pray remembering that just like e was able to rest in his daddy's arms we can rest in our heavenly daddy's arms. Rest knowing that even though there is chaos surrounding us that He has overcome this world (John 16:33).  

Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Please, don't misunderstand me. So many people have been deeply effected by the events of this past week and they need to be showered with our prayers. But, I will be honest, sometimes I need to look away and remind myself of the blessings that God has surrounded me with and one of the best ways to do that it to watch our little man. Hope these images blesses you even just a little bit. 

(Seems a little out of place this week, but here is our weekly crazy pic! e being his typical "I want to run and not stand in front of the camera" self and me, well, trying to look at the camera myself!)

Monday, April 15, 2013

The most handsome little man we have never met!

It's a boy! I cannot believe it! I am so excited to have two sweaty little heads running around the house. But, I would be lying through my teeth if I said that I wasn't shocked.

Both David and I thought that we were having a girl. It was one of those situations where all we wanted was a health baby and really didn't know that we were expecting to be told girl until we saw plain as day that we are having a boy! (This little man is far from being shy!)

This past Tuesday was our ultrasound day. My wonderful friend Val was kind enough to watch e most of the morning so that I could go and get my hair done (a great distraction!) while I tried to calmly (fat chance) wait for our appointment at 3:30 (why oh why did we pick such a late time????). I found myself pacing most of the afternoon in anticipation. I am sure I looked at the clock at least 100 times only to find that the minute hand had moved one tick mark (COME ON!).

It was finally time for e and I to leave and meet David at the doctor's office. I got lost in the building, AGAIN, but finally made it to my appointment. We ended up waiting and waiting some more (sorry to all of you that were waiting on us and thought something might be wrong!) but finally it came to our turn. The baby looked perfect! Healthy from head to toes (ps...little man has big feet!). I didn't realize that we hadn't even found out the gender until we were almost done with the appointment (how on earth did I forget!) when the ultrasound tech mentioned that we hadn't looked. As I mentioned above, he was not shy at all and David and I saw before she even said anything. Tears of joy came streaming down my cheeks quickly followed by a sense of sadness that was wiped away by more joy as soon as I saw David beaming from ear to ear.

I am so ashamed to admit that I wanted a girl that badly. I really didn't know that I was looking forward to having a girl that much until I saw that Baby B is a boy. I didn't have any time to process the news, but quickly got into the car after a quick phone call to my mom, fed the boys supper as soon as we got home, finished making the cupcakes for our gender reveal at Bible Study that night, grabbed the cupcakes, got to Bible Study in time for Val (she is amazing!) to take pictures of us before everyone else arrived...still not fully processed. All our friends were shocked along with us as they bit into the cupcake and saw blue. Shocked, but very excited (loved doing the cupcakes!). We got home, still having had no time to process (David of course had picked up hours ago that I wasn't quite right) and finally after a long day was able to sit on the couch and rest. David looked at me and said, "It is ok that you were hoping for a girl." I lost it! Tears, sobbing, repeating over and over that I still love this baby. (My husband is so wonderful!) David just sat there and listened. Of course, after I had my 5 minutes of actually allowing myself to be real all the want of a girl passed and I can truly say I am so excited for this little man (sometimes I just have to let it all out!).

I took out the ultrasound pictures and honestly say that I cannot stop looking at his picture. Yes, I know it is an ultrasound (so far from clear). Yes, I know that I am his mommy. Yes, I know that all you moms probably think the same thing about your own little ones. But, this little man, is seriously the most handsome little man. I cannot wait to hold him. To see his daddy beaming from ear to ear as he holds his boy. To watch as his big brother showers him with kisses and then tries to steal his toys away.

See! Isn't he so handsome!!! I love how it looks like he is puckering his lips. Oh, this mommy's heart is so happy right now! (And, he is kicking me as I am writing and there is nothing I love more about being pregnant than feeling my babies move!)

Someday we might have a little girl in this family. But, until that day I am beyond excited to have my boys! I know a lot of you have seen our gender announcement on facebook, but Val did such a great job capturing us that I have to share a couple more pics. (THANK YOU, VAL!!!)

 (I just love e's hand motions on this last one! haha! What a good big brother!) 

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Hug, Home, Howl!

Where do I even start? This week has been packed full of milestones and memories which started immediately after I posted last weeks post. I'll start with baby highlights.

Last Saturday night (a week ago) David felt baby for the first time! To be honest, that was the most that I had felt baby move as well. Of course a kick here or there, but starting to really feel the soccer moves now! The look on David's face when he felt baby was priceless! It is amazing how we can love this little one so much already! This past Friday baby decided it was time to make my belly pop! No more hiding the belly! Finally, we are really looking forward to this coming Tuesday because hopefully baby will not be shy and we can find out if we are having a boy or girl! We will keep you all posted!

Now for the e monster! We are so proud of this little boy and always will be! He brings a smile to our faces everyday. He jumped for the first time yesterday (actually got both feet off the ground) and was so proud of himself that he throw his little fist up in the air and yelled "YAY!!!!" Haha! To cute! And now, he can count to three. His voice melts my heart! "One, Tuu, Tree." We could listen to him talk all day long! There are new words everyday, but two of my favorites are "hug" and "home." I was having a moment (are you surprised? You better be! haha!) and everything was made better when I walked out of the room to find e running at me, arms spread open, saying "hug, hug!" followed by him throwing his arms around me. And, now when we come home after taking the dog out or after a walk he says "home." Best feeling ever as a mom to know that my little one feels safe and comfortable were we live and to hear him call it home. Even though we have new words, do not fear, we still have more animals sounds that you could wish for, including the famous howl!

This afternoon we went out to the soccer fields to watch Auntie Sarah play. The boys made sure they were decked out in their best soccer gear (soccer ball isn't in these pictures, but don't worry, it too had an Argentine emblem on it). Eli was so eager to watch Auntie Sarah play that he kept saying her name over and over on the ride over and when she came off the field for a little break he ran up to her and gave her a great big hug! Sadly, I don't have a picture of that moment, but again, melted my heart! Since the two boys were all matchy matchy we of course had to take pictures, enjoy!

(No...I am not in pain...haha! Just sporting my, "are we done yet?" face!")

Monday, April 1, 2013

Nothing better than a cousin!

You all have seen Sarah in past posts and now you get to see her again! There honestly can never be enough Sarah!!! A couple weeks ago (man time goes by fast!) her cousin Katie came to visit and we just had to go out and take pictures. I love how much fun these two have together. Almost every picture of them is filled with laughter! Nothing better than family! And, of course, since the camera was already out, I just had to take some portraits as well. Hope you enjoy the pics of these two BEAUTIFUL ladies!!!